Saturday, December 3, 2011

Day 54.......Self Confidence...........

B positive. That's my blood type and it's been my motto ever since I typed my own blood in biology class in high school. I have always considered myself to be a positive person, looking on the bright side, finding the silver linings, etc. Not, nauseatingly so, mind you, but a "glass is half full" kind of person. I had a great deal of self confidence. Self confident people are positive people.

The past ten years have been quite the trip for me. Plenty of bad things have happened, mostly due to my own choices. Slowly, I stopped being the person I was. This was evident to me every time I looked in the mirror, but I never actually thought about it. I am vain. Because of my appearance, I stopped doing things. I put off seeing people I have not seen in a long time. I avoided being in pictures, wore baggy clothes. No skin tight tops, showing off my unlovely physique, no sir. But, I couldn't hide completely. I still had a job that I had to go to and see people.

One of the several bosses I have had, used to really aggravate me when he told me many times, that I was a negative person. How could that possibly be true? No one had ever told me that before. Two bosses later, I heard that she had made the comment, "Victoria's a bit on the negative side." I had barely met the woman. What was the deal? Still, I didn't think much of it, except that they must just be crazy and don't know me at all.

Recently, the first one said that my attitude seemed to be changing, and for the better. He said that I seem happier. I thought I was happy enough already, weeks ago, but I must not have been. So I've been thinking about all of this and figured it out. My negativity must have been directly related to my vanity. I didn't think I looked good. This was destroying my self confidence and it showed. Now that I am starting to feel more presentable, in my mind, my self confidence is coming back. Is that shallow? If someone told me that, I believe that I might think it is shallow. Whether it is or not, how we feel about ourselves, for whatever reason, often will manifest itself in ways we may not even be aware of. But others can see it.

My point? Juicing not only is making me healthier physically, but mentally as well. I didn't expect it. I didn't even realize I needed a mental overhaul, too. It's given me a tool to always be able to make my life better. Sometimes, maybe someone else too. I like that.

(Still not feeling well, fever went away in the night. Sore throat, so taking some OTC pain killer to help with that. I did get more citrus and made more Dreamsicle juice. Love it. I did not exercise, but will as soon as I turn the corner on this. At least, I did not crawl straight into bed after work.)

Stay strong!  (and Hello World, cause I'm comin' back)

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